Good for you. There’s more to life, believe me. I was like you with a high pressure city job all my adult life, no children, and when I reached the stress event horizon in my fifties (sadly with no inheritance to fall back on) I had to change everything. Everything. I now live on a croft in the Hebrides, grow vegetables, bake cakes and am absorbed by nature, the sea and the mountains on my new doorstep. You’ll learn a lot about yourself - the real you- through this process. I wish you well. Be brave and give it time. It’s worth it to know yourself fully for perhaps the first time ❤️
I drove myself ill in a job which I loved. It was hard when I stopped, and lost recognition and status. And began wondering, as I made a garden, what 'work' is. At some point I concluded that most of all, it involved having to be places and keep appointments.
But I've never escaped the feeling that I should be doing things. They are just things I have invented or created now. Or which are about keeping a home - which is maybe a different work.
There is still much to puzzle over in all this. I keep thinking I will practice being retired and see what that's like.
Sending you every possible good wish. Life is relatively short and very precious. Live by your rules and enjoy every second of the stream, the sunshine and your garden. Xxx
I went through a similar spiral a few years back. Burned out, quit the job, moved to a rural place. The thing that eased my self criticism was to find new friends that also felt that there was more to life than status and a high paying job. And honestly, those friends are so much more inspiring to me now (artists, farmers, people building their homes by hand), and I feel sorry for the people who are so career focused? Anyway, I personally love reading your writing and think you're very talented so I hope you can start to feel more pride as a writer :)
Good for you - that pressure to be a good girl haunts so many of us. It certainly did me - probably until my early forties when I turned my back on the law, my then marriage and eventually moved to the far west. I've never regretted it.
You are such a phenomenal writer and everything you say here is striking a chord with me. I have not had a high profile career and feel stupidly guilty about that all the time . I am only the attendance officer at a busy secondary school but the pressure and reactive style of job working with teenagers is gruelling. As women we are always so hard on ourselves- look after that health of yours , it’s more important than anything 😊
Brilliant, and resonating so absolutely hard right now. My dream is to make enough money to slow down. I grew up without any kind of safety net, and so the fear of losing what I have built drives me to constantly keep working harder and harder - bringing unhappiness and depression and guilt and illness. I absolutely love what you are doing for yourself - please don't gaslight yourself into feeling like you need to do MORE. Thank you for your thoughtful words and inspiration. ❤️
I hear you and I really empathise. When I left a job due to depression age 40, I was really searching for something fulfilling. I read somewhere that older women found themselves either through religion or gardening! I have been a gardener for over 20 years and never look back with regret at that decision - apart from the fact that I should always have worn a big hat.
remarkable that I am an ex housing officer and I'm doing a very similar project, best of luck to you, me dear and may we both be happy sat by our respective streams dreaming of how far we have come from our splendid days in court :)
I see so much of my experience in your story. I was laid off in the midst of complete burnout where I had been overworking for years with no end in sight then suddenly poof, I have nothing but time. It’s hard not to feel like a failure sometimes while I’ve been taking a break, but I am feeling comfort in my days where I’m not achieving the way I used to. Thank you for sharing this reflection. 💚
I find this oddly reassuring. I suppose we all live with a variety of wildly varying circumstances in our lives that mould us - until we begin morphing into the shape we were perhaps always meant to be? Sitting by a stream weaving twigs sounds good to me (just don’t forget to water your seedlings!) xx
Good for you. There’s more to life, believe me. I was like you with a high pressure city job all my adult life, no children, and when I reached the stress event horizon in my fifties (sadly with no inheritance to fall back on) I had to change everything. Everything. I now live on a croft in the Hebrides, grow vegetables, bake cakes and am absorbed by nature, the sea and the mountains on my new doorstep. You’ll learn a lot about yourself - the real you- through this process. I wish you well. Be brave and give it time. It’s worth it to know yourself fully for perhaps the first time ❤️
I love this and feel so understood/seen. Why is "being so busy" a measure of success and not happiness?
Genuine gold.
Perhaps pitch personal essay (Op-Ed?)to apropos publications. Not for accolades… for inspiration. #GENUINE
Wow.
I drove myself ill in a job which I loved. It was hard when I stopped, and lost recognition and status. And began wondering, as I made a garden, what 'work' is. At some point I concluded that most of all, it involved having to be places and keep appointments.
But I've never escaped the feeling that I should be doing things. They are just things I have invented or created now. Or which are about keeping a home - which is maybe a different work.
There is still much to puzzle over in all this. I keep thinking I will practice being retired and see what that's like.
Sending you every possible good wish. Life is relatively short and very precious. Live by your rules and enjoy every second of the stream, the sunshine and your garden. Xxx
I went through a similar spiral a few years back. Burned out, quit the job, moved to a rural place. The thing that eased my self criticism was to find new friends that also felt that there was more to life than status and a high paying job. And honestly, those friends are so much more inspiring to me now (artists, farmers, people building their homes by hand), and I feel sorry for the people who are so career focused? Anyway, I personally love reading your writing and think you're very talented so I hope you can start to feel more pride as a writer :)
❤️❤️❤️❤️
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🌳🏞️
Good for you - that pressure to be a good girl haunts so many of us. It certainly did me - probably until my early forties when I turned my back on the law, my then marriage and eventually moved to the far west. I've never regretted it.
Keep sitting by that stream. You made the right choice.
You are such a phenomenal writer and everything you say here is striking a chord with me. I have not had a high profile career and feel stupidly guilty about that all the time . I am only the attendance officer at a busy secondary school but the pressure and reactive style of job working with teenagers is gruelling. As women we are always so hard on ourselves- look after that health of yours , it’s more important than anything 😊
Brilliant, and resonating so absolutely hard right now. My dream is to make enough money to slow down. I grew up without any kind of safety net, and so the fear of losing what I have built drives me to constantly keep working harder and harder - bringing unhappiness and depression and guilt and illness. I absolutely love what you are doing for yourself - please don't gaslight yourself into feeling like you need to do MORE. Thank you for your thoughtful words and inspiration. ❤️
I hear you and I really empathise. When I left a job due to depression age 40, I was really searching for something fulfilling. I read somewhere that older women found themselves either through religion or gardening! I have been a gardener for over 20 years and never look back with regret at that decision - apart from the fact that I should always have worn a big hat.
remarkable that I am an ex housing officer and I'm doing a very similar project, best of luck to you, me dear and may we both be happy sat by our respective streams dreaming of how far we have come from our splendid days in court :)
I see so much of my experience in your story. I was laid off in the midst of complete burnout where I had been overworking for years with no end in sight then suddenly poof, I have nothing but time. It’s hard not to feel like a failure sometimes while I’ve been taking a break, but I am feeling comfort in my days where I’m not achieving the way I used to. Thank you for sharing this reflection. 💚
I find this oddly reassuring. I suppose we all live with a variety of wildly varying circumstances in our lives that mould us - until we begin morphing into the shape we were perhaps always meant to be? Sitting by a stream weaving twigs sounds good to me (just don’t forget to water your seedlings!) xx